As a child I was always interested in the life of Jesus. When a film about Jesus came on the television, I’d watch it. But I didn’t associate the Jesus I saw on the TV with the idea of going to church, singing miserable hymns miserably and listening to boring sermons, so I never went.

 As a student in Leeds I was invited to hear the views of the Unification church (or Moonies). I listened to what they had to say, but I soon worked out that what initially seemed like a reasoned argument was no more than wild speculation. It was as if they couldn’t tell the difference between that which may be and that which must be.

At home I became friends with a group of people from Chester who told me all about their Christian faith. They spoke about the problem of sin and about opening a door for Jesus, but I said that I didn’t have a problem with sin, and I didn’t have a clue what they meant by ‘door’.

It wasn’t until another friend told me about his faith that the ‘penny dropped’, but he wasn’t a Christian at all. He belonged to a religion based in India called Sahaja Yoga. This religion has much to do with meditation and my friend described this as being like ‘opening a door in the mind and reaching out – to God’. This I could understand. I could imagine myself sitting still and quiet. I could imagine looking into a space that can be seen only with the ‘mind’s eye’ I imagined some kind of ‘trap door’ opening in the top of my head and an arm reaching out to the space beyond, in the hope of touching something divine. This may seem bizarre, but it made sense to me; I knew what he was talking about. I also realised what my Christian friends had been talking about.

In Revelation 3:20 Jesus says, ‘Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.’ I made a meditative prayer. I perceived, or perhaps imagined, opening a barrier between my mind and the space beyond. But instead of reaching out, I invited God to reach in. (God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, just to make sure).

By attending several different churches and having long discussions with friends, I became familiar with a broad variety of beliefs, from Evangelical to Jehovah’s Witness. I went on an Alpha course and became an Alpha course leader.

Lately I’ve been writing down my thoughts, so I can make better sense of them. I feel answers are at my fingertips, and I mean to reach a little further.

Aled Taylor