A guide to the Parable of the Sower in 4 bad farmer jokes.

Number 1.

A man's car stalled on a country road one morning. When the man got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him. "Your trouble is probably in the carburetor," said the cow.
Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road until he met a farmer. The amazed man told the farmer his story.
"Was it a large red cow with a brown spot over the right eye?" asked the farmer. "Yes, yes," the man replied.

"Oh! I wouldn't listen to Bessie," said the farmer. "She doesn't know a thing about cars."

I don't know a thing about farming – but I wouldn't do it like this. I wouldn't do it like the gospel describes. Well actually I would, knowing my approach to these things. Just chuck some seed here, chuck it there, oops some in the bush some on the path, some on the rockery, some on the dog. But a competent and efficient farmer or gardener wouldn't.

Now some patronising bible commentaries would tell you that they did it like that in ancient times. Before you know, we knew better in our enlightened modern times. No they didn't have seed drills back then, but all the more reason for seed to be precious. Monsanto hadn't been invented. What you sowed was what you had kept back from last season. What you chose not to eat during the winter. Every grain was precious.

This is not about farming, then or now. Its about wild inefficiency, a seemly careless abandon.

The sower sows the word. And he sows it everywhere.

Number 2.

A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently came upon a farmer working in his field. Being concerned about the farmer's soul the preacher asked the man, "Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord my good man?"
Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his work the farmer replied, "Naw, these are parsnips."
"You don't understand," said the preacher. "Are you a Christian?"
With the same amount of interest as his previous answer the farmer said, "Nope my name is Jones. You must be lookin for Jim Christian. He lives a mile south of here."
The young determined preacher tried again asking the farmer, "Are you lost?"
"Don't be silly! I've lived here all my life," answered the farmer. Why would I be lost now?
"Are you prepared for the resurrection?" the frustrated preacher asked.
This caught the farmer's attention and he asked, "When's it gonna be?"
Thinking he had accomplished something the young preacher replied, "It could be today, tomorrow, or the next day." Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping his brow, the farmer remarked, "Well, don't mention it to my wife. She don't get out much and she'll wanna go all three days."

Sometimes your words fall on deaf ears. But Jesus wants his word preached to all. He didn't just speak where he was welcome. He didn't just talk to those who were listening. He trusted in the words of Isaiah. So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

I once met a man who had started up a new church in the town I was living in. It had only been going a few weeks. Some Sundays he had a small congregation. Some weeks nobody came. On the days that he had no congregation, he stood up and preached the sermon he had prepared anyway. He said my job is to speak God's words. I will do that to everyone or to no one. All that matters is that I have the faith to speak up. I sow the seed it is for God to reap the harvest.

I'm not sure if he was a saint or a basket case. Sometimes its hard to tell the difference. St Francis preached to the birds. He didn't mind if they descended and ate the seed. Why shouldn't they be fed too?

Number 3.

The clergyman walked on down the country lane and saw a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.

"You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."
"No thanks," said the young man.
"My father wouldn't like it."
"Don't be silly," the minister said.
"Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water."

Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"

"Well," replied the young farmer, "the cart tipped over on him and he's under this load of hay."

The reason that the sower sows the seed everywhere, where the ground is stony, where the ground seems barren, where it seems that there is no chance of growth, so because he is sowing a message of salvation for the unnoticed as well. You throw the seed into the bushes because you don't know who is hiding in there. Because we need to be very careful before labelling someone stony ground, or shallow soil. And, here really is the point. Jesus was as keen to plant on the shallow soil as anywhere else. Yes there may be people swamped by the cares of the world. There may be people who have given themselves over to materialism. There may be those who fear trouble and persecution. But that doesn't make them any less valuable. And he is going to preach his love to them anyway.

Have you ever seen one of those trees growing on a sheer cliff face? Roots seemingly clinging to bare stone? No farmer would plant seed there. It would be wasteful. Inefficient. And yet there the tree clings.

And there this sower goes, sowing the word.

Without him, casting his seed before swine and among the stones and the nettles, how shall the myrtle spring up in place of the briar, the cyprus in place of the thorn.

Number 4

A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.
A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?" The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how those politicians lie."

OK here's the political bit – efficiency savings. We hear plenty from all parties on this. Efficiency savings are good. Cuts are bad. We all like a bit of efficiency. Efficiency is a good thing.

And of course wastefulness and inefficiency are not without their price, especially when resources are limited, there is a real human cost. Food mountains in the West and starvation in the horn of Africa are not what the sower has in mind, whatever the relative qualities of the soil.

But the efficient sower abandons the rocky places to the weeds. Sacrifices the shallow soil to the thorns. The efficient sower turns a good profit where there is easy growth to be found, but the margins are given to the wilderness.

Maybe an efficient world is a world where grace is less freely sown. A world where everything has its value and its price. Where investment is made where we can be sure of a return. Work with those who respond most easily. And let the sun and the scavengers take the rest.

Perhaps unless we can merrily throw precious seed into the briars and the barren places, in the world and in the church, we will never see the valleys laugh and the tress of the field clap their hands and hear the mountains sing.

For so says the Lords shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and succeed in the thing for which I sent it. And you shall go out in joy.